However, I believe that the events from this past week warrant comment. Things like what happened on Wednesday at the US Capitol should not happen here. We are the United States of America and we are blessed with the means to have our issues addressed in a civilized manner. Whatever you think of the politicians in the Capitol and what they were about to do, each one of them is a person with family and friends and people who depend on them. I can't imagine being in the situation they were in and I know I would have been scared out of my mind.
That said, this is not even the part I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is my Facebook feed.
For the record, I am typically Conservative in my politics. I'm not afraid to admit that. If you decide that my blog is not worth following now, despite the fact that this is not a political blog, I beg you to finish out this post before you stop.
This is something that has weighed on me for awhile, actually; since the election season began. The amount of vitriol I have seen on my Facebook has been heartbreaking. And it's not just coming from one side...
The worst part is when people say, "If you believe (insert "objectionable" belief here), then de-friend me now." I had one friend go as far as to say that it didn't matter to her how long she had been friends with the person and what they had been through together. That one actually hurt me a lot. While I didn't necessarily fall into what she was posting about, I do disagree with this friend quite often when it comes to politics and she and I went through a lot together when we were in college. I didn't de-friend her. My opinion is that, if she wants to throw away our 19 years of friendship, it's her call. I will be very sad if she does and will miss her.
Is this where we are now? Are we willing to throw away relationships built on love and trust over politics?
I have quite a few friends on "the other side of the spectrum". In fact, if I hadn't been involved in politics like I was in college, that might be most of my friends. We often don't discuss politics since most know I'm passionate in what I believe as I know they are and we're not going to change each other's minds. It may come up occasionally but when it does we will state our cases and then move on. There is so much more to our friendship than what we agree on.
However, there are two friends on the other side that I have had actual conversations with about politics and guess what...it didn't devolve into name-calling and the end of friendships. What I found in these conversations isn't that they were wrong and I was right. Their opinions were thought out and their reasons were even sound. Often, we had the same ultimate goals in what we were discussing, just different ways of getting there. It really came down to our difference of opinion on people themselves and what will actually work in making our country better. We ended our conversations agreeing to disagree but pleasantly.
The difference in these conversations versus what I've seen on Facebook was respect for one another. The respect to listen to the other's argument and the respect to remain civil in the face of a differing opinion.
After what happened Wednesday, the madness on Facebook seemed to come to a head. I had friends all but laughing at the situation and genuinely wishing ill on those who disagree with them. I put up a post about praying and then shut my Facebook down for the day. I had been close to crying when it came to what happened at the Capitol but seeing the intentional hurt come across Facebook that day put me over the edge. I shed a few tears.
What I realized after some reflection is that the statements these people were making were all blanket statements made in a moment of overwhelming emotion. Not that I think it's OK, even in that case. But it made me realize that it's easy to forget people are human beings when you're posting on Facebook. It's even easier to forget that politicians and reporters are actual people when they are so far away from you. It's so easy to turn someone you disagree with into a monster when you don't have actual contact with them.
And I think that's what a lot of the meanness on Facebook has boiled down to. We have forgotten that our "friends" are people. There may be names and pictures but, unless there is actual participation in each others' lives, it becomes easier to treat a Facebook friend as an avatar and not a human being with thoughts and feelings deserving of respect.
I want to state that I in no way believe you shouldn't post your political beliefs on Facebook. In fact, when done in a reasonable manner, I encourage it. We should be using social media outlets to discuss ideas and learn from each other. It's when that posting becomes intentionally hurtful that I condemn it. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and in the US we are blessed to have it on record that Free Speech is to be protected from government control. That doesn't mean I'm required to like what other people are saying or that I'm not allowed to vocally disagree. It doesn't mean you're required to, either.
All I want is for people to respect each other. That's not something that can be mandated, it has to happen in your own mind and heart. Remember that the friend you disagree with is a person just like you with their own experiences and learnings that have shaped who they are. Remember that you are friends with this person for a reason that may be so much greater than whether or not you agree on politics. If it comes down to it and their opinions are such a problem that it can't be overcome, then de-friend them, but have the guts to do it yourself. I fully acknowledge that there is a line with everyone that can be a huge problem when crossed but don't just throw away friends because they are Liberal or Conservative, Republican or Democrat. There is more to each person than how they vote.
After all, no matter who wins, we're all in this together.
